Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Randomize
