all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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