Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
i love accidental penises.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
