I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
