There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
