he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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