East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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