Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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