They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
