let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
