I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
