getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Randomize
