I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
