Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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