I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
