I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
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