i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Randomize
