the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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