Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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