Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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