Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
