You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
