he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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