why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Randomize
