my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
