Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
