Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
