She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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