youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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