Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
