then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Mom said you looked used
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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