She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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