Your dad touched me again.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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