so that wasnt chicken after all
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
