I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Randomize
