$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
