everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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