He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize