never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
