? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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