lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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