Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I am one with the molecules
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
