cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
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