maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
