Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Everything about him screamed your future.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
