Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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