maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
