It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize