Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
