rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the high leading the old right now
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize