on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
she woke up with a sticky ear
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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