It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
