Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
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Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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