i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize