brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
