According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
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Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
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I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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