That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Why can't burritos get me drunk
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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